Time To Hang It All Up

 

Unlike college radio, mainstream and internet radio – there is already an audience. Whether they are fans of yours or not at the time is actually irrelevant because they are still listening. Whether is out of habit or choice they have a built in audience.  I am not and will not be in the same league as college radio or internet radio.

It’s tough to do a licenced music podcast when you have to build your audience from the ground up. I have a full time job, a family, I go to school part time to further my professional development (at least half of the year) and on top of that I have RRMS (relapse remittance multiple sclerosis)

I still don’t know a lot of women who independently produce, host their own podcast on top of the promoting and doing the network part. Juggling all this in itself is tough. Then add family obligations, making dinners, making lunches, helping with homework, cleaning the house… You might probably say,  well Nikki that just means late nights because you gotta work hard for what you want. What’s a few late nights during the week or the weekend to get everything done?

Then you probably don’t understand how someone with MS might have to change their lifestyle to manage their daily life for health reasons. I go to bed no later than 9 on weekdays, sometimes 7:30 pm because I am up at 5 am for work. I don’t get home from work until 3 or 4 pm.  So if you do the math I don’t have a lot of time. I really don’t.

But somehow I have made this work.  I am the queen of multitasking. I do dishes and make lunches while I am cooking dinner.  Hell, I have even done laundry and tweeted on top of the previously mentioned stuff.  And this is all great…until I get really sick, or I have a flare up.  It takes me longer to recover from a cold, a throat infection. It hits me 10 times harder than before MS. And then it’s an uphill battle for me. And sometimes I forget to take care of myself and then I spiral down.

This chronic illness is new for me. I still haven’t figured out what I can and can’t do half the time. And sometimes I am just plain stubborn. I have done shows during flare ups, when I am really sick just to prove I can. Sometimes, that works out for me and other times I get even more sick.

Despite the small handful of supporters , the show hasn’t picked up. I haven’t really gained new listeners in the past year. I have even tried a value added service of providing the Epic #NoPantsRecordStoreShopping and well, it took off for a few and surprising it didn’t take off as well as I thought it would. I still gave it my best and kept it going for over 6 months.

I have collaborated, networked, reached out to other podcasters, music bloggers, radio shows and I had such a blast in respects to all of that. That is one the great things about doing the DIY, is I make my rules. I can promote whomever I want, collab whomever I want because I don’t have to worry about station branding.

I have been denied a few times on podcast networks because I refuse to give up the collabs I have with two other websites, plus the fact that I name check other shows and DJ’s on my show. It’s all about branding . Me, it’s always been about sharing. I like Punknews, I find them hilarious. I love Rocket From Russia. I love Ruby Slippers. I love MetalBandCampGiftClub. I love Unscholars. I love Casey Ryan from the Cutting Room Floor. I love 50thirdand3rd and Tangent Bound Network. I love some of the bands I have had on my show. I bring to the show what I find out there in the big wide world that I think is awesome and that everyone should know about.

My enthusiasm is infectious. You might not like the bands I am playing but you might get a good chuckle of how excited I am to play a track of theirs. You might be amused about how passionate and cranky I get about bands doing bad social media stuff or my relentless finger wagging at the music snobs.

I don’t want to be famous, and I wasn’t getting rich off the patreon either. That was just to keep the lights on this show. This was me pouring my heart and soul into something that wasn’t a paid gig.   An energetic, sassy, music junkie that 4 ½ years ago,  threw herself out of her comfort zone to share something that she loved with others. Sure it took over a year to finally come out of my shell on the airwaves to being myself. I learned a lot. I learned about podcasting, recording, social media promoting, more about the music industry than even some paid music critics know . I was lucky enough to meet some very seasoned music industry folks that I learned a shit load from.

Maybe this isn’t a forever goodbye but I am not a spring chicken. But it’s really hard to cut through all the internet white noise to put out a music podcast that attempts to not only bring the music people know and love, but to open their ears to new stuff.

I am always miffed that even from my hometown Toronto people complain that there is no new music and they hate mainstream radio but don’t have the time to listen to EatKS.

Recently, I went and did this stupid crazy thing trying to get my show name on Now Magazine’s Readers Choice Awards so I bugged and promoted it out so that people could nominate my show.  I didn’t realize until after the nominations closed that even if I got my name on the ballot – I would still have to promo, beg, bug people to vote for me to win. I have DJ friends, I tell you they had to post that stuff on facebook, twitter at least once a day. They worked damn hard to get every vote. I don’t have that kind of time. Another difference is, that they got paid for their work so that title is something that they can put on their resume. Me? Not so much. 

I am amazed I kept trying to breathe life into this show over 4 years. Many independent podcasts can’t say the same thing.

Thank you all for the past support in this epic musical journey.

I have no regrets.

much love to you all

 

Nikki

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